“I have to live with myself, so I have to be fit for myself to know; I have to sit with the setting sun, and not hate myself for the things I’ve done; I want as the days go by to be able to look the world straight in the eye.”

Feeling Robbed and Lied To

can we clear the air between us, and can we do it soon?
ive been clawing at the mortar, your nails are dirty too
when night falls, i crawl to the window and reach for the pain
i'll fall, but i call you anyway

someday we'll be eating lobster and drinking fine champagnes
i'll sell seashells by your seashore 'til you swim through my veins
he who sails is he who discovers, let's hear anchors aweigh
there's space to claim under these covers, you steer clear of here anyway

[chorus:]
you and me we spark, no i take that back
like a dancer in the dark, my beauty it's black
just match your lips up to mine, steal a kiss or rob me blind

you dont need another player gambling on your charms
dreaming of a victory wrapped up in your coat of arms
i bid more if you're taking score, and i'm all set to pay
but i'll lose cuz you'll choose him anyway

[chorus]

the greatest thing i ever learned is i dont know a thing
the hardest thing i ever earned is a chance in the ring
"simple boys make better boyfriends"; that just isn't true
and time will tick 'til you can see there's no simple in loving you

[chorus]

No it's not okay. It really isn't. I don't understand. And I don't know what to believe. And it sort of sucks that this had to happen right now. But it's been on my mind for awhile. And somedays it feels like this is draining all my dreams out of me but also seems to be creating new ones. Somedays I just get tired of you waiting to prove to me that you're going to be there. Unreliable was a pretty good work to use. But I think you knew that, well you do now probably because you're reading this.

I vow to only ever love Jay Brannan.

What happened to my spark?

I Don't Want to Forget Come Daylight

Us and Everyone Else

Today was weird. I don't know. As awkward as it was. Walking away wasn't a good idea.

I think people are missing a little bit of common sense.

Is it weird that sometimes it feels like everything is planned out and then everyone else is just spinning all over the place?

I'm glad I got to spend some time with Isa though tonight. I enjoyed being able to just talk to another girl like that. If that makes any sense.

I'm really enjoying the new Hedley CD. Being able to hear Jacob Hoggard's voice without tweaks is awesome. Also really stoked for when Beautiful is going to come on.

Really enjoying the photos from New Years. That was a really fun night.

I'm also starting to realize that however awesome this summer was with all of us, it probably won't be like that again. Which is a little sad but it happens.

Hopefully I'll be able to have a day at home during reading break.

Also I have roses. Be jealous.