If her love is strong enough to make him stay

And I love you, but I leave you

I don't want you, but I need you

You know it's you who calls me back here

And when I close my eyes I see you

No matter where I am

Last Week.

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that a career will never wake up one morning and tell you it doesn't love you anymore." - Lady Gaga

I didn't think it would be like this

I didn't think I would get like this. I have no desire to do anything.

I was worried about tonight but I actually had a good time. Conversation wasn't the most thrilling, and I came in last but I had a lot of fun.

I've applied for 14 different jobs. Really hoping to hear back from one of them.

I don't feel as connected anymore to things I used to. I'm not sure how to get that connection back.

Dinner was odd. I'm just not sure where I fit in with their thoughts. I'm the girl that moved away.

I cannot wait till my courses start. It will give me something to do. It will be weird going to 'school' while being here. I wonder how it will go.

I did really well this semester. No one asked. I showed my mom, she didn't really seem to care. I worked really hard this semester and everyone just seems to think I fooled around.

At first my instinct was to say yes. Then I started to think about it and freaked myself out. Mostly because I have an intense fear of peeing on my shoes, which is why I dislike the thought of backpacking. But it could be fun and I'd like to prove to myself that I can do something like that. It's only 22.8 km. I could do it.

I wish I could drive. That would make things a lot easier for me. And for other people.

Sometimes you do things that embarrass me. Am I allowed to say that? I tend to just find something else to focus on. I guess getting stupid drunk wasn't a great thing to do either. I plan on not doing that again.

I really want to go dancing. I love dancing. And loud music. And getting dressed up.

In Vancouver I felt like I was always underdressed and here I always feel overdressed. It's difficult to compromise.

I'm craving Pho's spring rolls like there is no tomorrow. I just want like two orders to myself.

Also I am not on a diet, I'm just making sure I'm making better choices. So I'd appreciate it if you'd stop bringing it up.

But now I have to go read a stupid chapter of a stupid book because your mother gave it to me.

Anyways. Here we are. Stupidly in love. And getting stupid drunk too often.

I really need something to do during the days. Soon I'm going to go crazy.

Also why does everything cost money.

Tired.