My Obsession With Meat Loaf Continues

Working on Top Secret Project. Progress is good-ish.

Cleaned my room today, listening to nothing but What About Love? by Meat Loaf.

I'm sort of done with writing everything here. Maybe it's cause you read it. It just feels too exposed now, or maybe I've just stopped noticing the world around me.

Love; shouldn't feel like this,

Jessica

I'm Your Girlfriend Not Your Life Coach

I have all these plans and you have excuses. And I'm tired of having to push you. I'm so fucking tired of it. Because I deserve more than that and what he said is true, it is sort of like manipulation and I thought of that before but now I truly see it. If I wake up to a sorry I'm going to fucking lose it. I know who I am and who I want to be and I need someone to share that with not someone who runs away or has to convince themselves their worth being with me.

I will Pine for the Oak streets. Pine for the cedars. Pine for you.

I can't. I'm honestly about ready to give up. Because you need to do something about this, instead of just sleeping. Fuck you. I've never been this angry at you before. Ever.

Jessica

30: Remembering

All week I've been remembering everything. It's a good remembering though. I like it. Makes me miss you more though.

Folk fest this weekend and the lemon grass chicken is returning, so stoked.

Going shopping tomorrow. Not sure why or for what. But just excited to go out.

Keeping myself busy you know.

I can't look at children.

There was this little girl and I was smiling and waving to her, and I noticed her glance on Sawyer and I looked over and he was making faces at her. It was adorable.

There was a little boy in cowboy boots, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Yeah...

I'm almost done with having the same conversation every night. But I have made my decision.

I'm really soft today. It's great. Mani/Pedi's were win. Last nights dinner was also win.

I can't hold a conversation with people without getting lost. Especially watching that movie last night, when it showed that one clip, I definitely spaced out. I still think I've made all smart choices when it comes to this. A lot of growing up has occurred this year.

Work was great. I'm behind on YAA. Maybe I will actually accomplish that tomorrow. Also must pay phone bill. Mhm.

Cupcake adventures,

Jessica

I'm going to break his heart before the summer ends, aren't I?