And You're Never Coming Home Again

I need to switch my phone number.

Yeah last night you did choose watching TV online over talking to me. That's not showing me much. And you know what happened today, you don't think I'd want to talk and de-stress? Especially when I'm throwing all hints I want to talk and I get a good night. So when I say what? Saying you're tired and had a few drinks. Is just really not an excuse. I'm not asking for a lot right? Don't buy your girlfriend flowers when she asks for flowers. Things aren't as great as they appear.

I feel distant.

I've eaten one whole meal in the past three days.

First she yells at me for not going out to get something to eat and then she's like no going out. That makes no sense.

Waking up to someone telling you their neck popped, sort of isn't comforting.

There's mascara everywhere.

I really should eat something, but eating currently just makes me want to puke.

By my side. You'll never be.

I don't think you realized how much hurt you caused that day. I'm not over it. I don't know if I can get over that. I also really think you need to control things. Seriously. Get a hold of yourself. Grow up.

I didn't go to open mic cause we got back late and I need to finish my readings but I had a mental break down. So that's not going so well right now.

I'm staying up to make sure you get back and because I have your pain meds.

Dinner with Billy. I cannot wait.

I see you. You see me. Differently.

And Finally A Regret

What happened to us?

You used to send me morning messages and you used to stay up till 4am talking to me.

As much as I encourage this, you push it. There were times that week that it bothered me. The pushing.

I regret those last few minutes.

I was taught to talk big and just scrape by, but you talk big and you make it.

What does that mean? Taking a step back you don't see that anymore.

I just want you to be the one that calls me. I want you to say I love you first. The past four phone calls you never said it. I remember when you used to yell at me for not saying I love you before saying goodbye. You used to bring me tea in the mornings. Then you just started showing up in the mornings and climbing into bed with me.

If you don't live for the small things you won't have anything. But funny thing is, when there are no more small things you don't have anything.