Coming to you from Travis

Apparently my mother notices that we don't spend much time together. I think that's a good thing though because we know we can still stay connected while having seperate lives and then it makes the time we do spend together even more amazing. At least that's my thought.
I wish I was as deep as everyone else but I'm just not full of moving thoughts apparently. The sooner I go to sleep the sooner tomorrow will arrive.
Gimmie that girl with her hair in a mess, sleepy warm smile with her head on my chest,
Jessica

Give Her A Reason To Stay

Give her a reason to laugh.

Tonight was fantastic. Tea was fantastic. Steeps may now be my favourite place to hang out. Also I love Elise for coming up afterwards and being like I stalked you on Facebook so that I could come say Hi and know who you are. Hahaha. I love her music. I hope they get their washing machine fixed. Also her song with TRANSIT was absolutely fantastic.

Check out TRANSIT.

http://transithiphop.com/

Sun Comes Up. Is an awesome song.

I want to live in a house with musicians one day. Just a house of creativity if you will. I love that. When you can just be surrounded by those people and sing whenever you want to, or can just dance whenever you need to. And you can run into the next room and play your roommate the new song you found. Part of me would rather live with Billy's friends instead of at Res. But if I get into Res then I might learn how to get along with people my age.

Yesterday was a great day. It was a very warm day. It was a very good smelling day too. Haha. I could tell you were starting to fall asleep cause your breath got deeper and your grip started loosening. Hahaha. Also I totally do play video games and I schooled you. HA! I'm going to choose to remember the third time. Third times a charm right? And it defiantly was. I hate that you have to leave. I know you do too which makes things easier. Somehow...

"I'm going to need to buy a smaller tent."

"Oh?"

"The one I have is a ten man tent."

"I see."

"We take up about as much room as one fat man."

"This is true."

Thursday was a good day too. And I defiantly fell asleep. My bad.

I think Tuesday morning would make a good nap time too. Or Thursday morning as a matter of fact. Or both.

I haven't ahd Opa! in so long. That was so scrumptious. Om nom nom.

It felt werid wearing a band tshirt. I just don't seem to wear them as much anymore. I think I dress a lot like Simon Cowell. Cowel? meh. Under shirt and a cardigan. And We basically share the same ideas on music. Haha. Maybe I am him. Dun dun dunnnn...

Anywho now that my brain is being dumb, maybe I'll finish watching Love Actually and try and sleep.

Tomorrow we are seeing POOLIE! GAH!!!!!

Remember to Breathe,

Jessica

It's The Saddest Part of My Day...

Leaving you.

We should have movie night. It would be fantastic.

Amazed.

So people always try and steal my phone. And right now I'm going to let you inside my phone. I like to save the happy text messages of the day and look back at them and smile. So I'm just going to type out my messages. You get to know nothing about the context or who they were from. You just get to know.

Yeah because you care. And that's why we love you.

No your group. Ew. They have no passion and aren't going anywhere unlike you. Haha.

I do what I can. :D

Well. Except for the song choice. But I try. And I'm only amazing cause of you. :)

Mission accomplished.

Haha Miss *** just had her chat with *** and ****

That was seriously amazing today. That instant everything just felt better. Just looking over to see it was you. It could have been the breaking point for tears. But it turned to laughter. Thank goodness. I really never want to leave those moments. I could just hang on forever.

When the whole world fits inside of your arms,

Jessica

Better.

Just listened to Better. (Sad song playlist ftw.) And was reminded of a few Friday's ago. You said you really loved this song. I'm starting to understand the context behind that now. I was cool with not seeing you today. But part of me misses you. I guess that's healthy right? Haha.

You're A Roller coaster Baby I Swear

I had a lot of fun during the day today. I was doing good. I felt purposeful and happy and all that junk. Now I just feel like a blob and am going to leave my YAA stuff till tomorrow morning. Sorry Kaiz. I'm tired. And I'm just kinda done with the day, because my brain is stressing out. You're amazing. I hope you know that.

This is Me Gushing Rainbows

If you chose not to read this. I completely forgive you. Haha.

We work well together. In the kitchen that is. That was a lovely moment when I was changing the song. Yes, I do listen to a wide variety of music. This should not be surprising. When you moved the chairs at the island, it was super cute. Not going to lie. And no this doesn't mean I'm going to force you to eat healthy. I like chicken mcnuggets as much as the next person. Probably more actually. Sitting on the couch listening to Noel Johnson was happy making too. But then you found where we were going and made me move. Hmph. So after our very failed mission, I made you decide what happened for the rest of the day. You asked if we needed to put the back cover on and I said no. You totally couldn't hide the smile on your face when I said that. Yes I know I'm awesome. You'll learn it too. Five songs from my Mp3 and five from your iPod. Everytime I made a new song choice we took a different road. I think that ATV trail was a bad choice considering we had to go backwards out of it. Our adventure took us to Fishcreek, where you won a lot of points. Especially when you finally admitted about last Tuesday. If you would have told me that, I would have skipped my meeting... I mean... No. I wouldn't have skipped any meeting. I seriously love just sitting at home. I know it doesn't seem that way. But I honestly do.

So on Thursday when you were having a bad day and I fell asleep on our conversation, I woke up to your text Oh God, you're right, I so needed that. Now everyone reading this has very strange thoughts about the context of that. Whoops. I generally wake up to his text messages. Oh man, he grabbed my phone the other day and was flipping through the messages and all 30 of them were from him.

English. Lunch. And after school. And then every moment inbetween.

Hahaha. Yes you are. Plus, you give way better hugs too.

That also made my week. You have no clue. Performing and seeing you out of the corner of my eye is the whole reason I probably was smiling like an idiot the whole thing. Vickie was so mad about the performance and how we had longer skirts on and no colour, and my response was This is how we rebel. That's right I rebel by being a cheerleader.

It's cold in my basement. I wish you were here, then it'd be warm.

Can I just never delete that? Please. Hahaha.

My mother is concerned about how I'm making cupcakes for a birthday party and she's like well isn't there already cake at a birthday? Hahaha. Also she never texted me at all yesterday, or asked where I was. Very interesting.

I think all my happiness is the reason I'm so exhausted. This week I've been crashing at 10 every day. It's kinda ridiculous. Anyways, I need to have a shower, make icing, do some work on English, then go to a party where everyone is going to be drunk except me, boyfriend and fake boyfriend and be the most awesome girlfriend ever (not going to lie I kinda am). Am I still allowed to call him my fake boyfriend? Haha. Oh god, what was with, it will be good for you, you'll meet new people. Those people used to be my friends all through out Jr. High.

Mom says I can't eat the jam with a spoon. Hmph. That was the best friggin jam ever! I love Connie's cooking. I'm so moving to Victoria.

OOO,

Jessica

Dear Friend,

I started reading Perks of Being a Wallflower. How is I've read three pages and already relate?

Things have been so good recently. I wish that if my happiness were a pie that I could cut it into pieces and share it with everyone else. That would be awesome. I try to think of it like this. With all of my happiness, I can take some sadness. So please dump your sadness on me. I can take it.

"I can take it if you need to take this out on someone."

I thought it was weird that you told her that. But I think its a good thing you did. Sometimes you want to tell people in hopes they understand. Even if they think that its random useless information it generally isn't to you and that's why you say it out loud.

It is the best part of my day. I don't have to worry about anything. I don't have to try to be anything. It's almost like our own little world if that makes sense. With the tunes blazing.

I never want to feel the way I did on Wednesday ever again. When we were listening to sad songs and all I could do was look out the window. And then you said I'm sorry. And I think I would have cried. I could have cried. And then you leaned forward and put your head in your hands. I wanted to cry. I could have cried. I'm never going to forget moments of that day. Ever. Like when you said that last thing and I got in the car. Like when we were sitting there and I could feel you hurting and you started running around kicking things. Let's not have a moment like that again. Deal. I'd rather remember watching the stars, laughing like an idiot.

I'm sad that she won't like him back. That makes me really sad. I wish things were going well for everyone. That'd be awesome.

Also the fact that I'm invited because of him is awkward. Not going to lie. Also does this mean I have to find a gift?

Also it makes me nervous the way you look at me before you play a song. It's like a, listen to this song cause it makes me think of you look. Is that what the look is? Cause I'm unsure... Haha.

Yes! It's refreshing.

Jessica

Too Happy it Hurts.

up here in your tower, how unstoppably fine. how understandably just like you imagined it. even the sun shines like on tv. what gives this elasticity its credit? the same binding hopes of not needing anything more. our trust in this is the hope we have in ourselves.

i don't know why i can't describe what i feel when i'm positive it's real. the only sense i seem to be certain of is my sudden lack of articulation. the way innocent and uninformed european children bounce a ball on a cobblestone driveway is the same way i explain my most convicting intentions.

it hasn't been cold at night in a really long time. the mornings haven't been that bad now that i think of it. didn't know you could watch the sun rise with east facing windows. makes you forget which end is up sometimes.

i'll navigate just fine. if i can see your light. you shine so bright.

True story.

Time Stopping

I'm sorry some of you think this is weird or awkward but I don't really care. Honestly. I'm going to do what makes me happy. And spending time with him definitely does that. So if he comes to eat lunch with us, please behave yourselves. I realize this was not an easy choice because of all the negative nelly's out there. But I really hope this works.

I'm sorry I'm not all let's dive into this. That's not who I am. New Year's Eve jokes aside, that really isn't who I am. Part of me wants to be that person. Trust me. Part of me never wants to let go, but eventually time starts again.

I could've watched the whole movie like that. I should have.

Those little girls beside us, out at the movie with their Dad made me happy. I barely go anywhere with my dad or spend time with him. It kind of really makes me sad. And I know that when I leave I'll call the house to talk to my mom, and not necessarily him. Maybe I'll go to the hockey game with the fam jam and actually sit with them at the game this time. Although those seats were pretty rad. Amy you must admit this. Lanny that close is kinda rad.

I really want to tell everyone. Really. But I just think they don't need to know as soon as we decide. But at the same time I know that that is the person you are, so I'm going to be okay with it.

"I like that you were in the car for maybe 5 minutes and already your stuff is organized into his stuff."

That's basically how it is.

I'm not going to let this come between all the things I want to do. I still want to volunteer at spoken word fest and I want to interview two people now. I will send out messages later for that. I am so stoked for Faber and for Hedley. I'm even more stoked for Jessica/Amy bonding day. Oh man!!! The Dudes are playing The Gateway on my BIRTHDAY! That would be so fricking awesome!!!! GAH!!! I needs to find someone else to come with me!!! AHHH!!!

I also feel bad now cause I'm in this happy place but some of my friends aren't. Actually things seem to be crashing pretty hard for them. And I am going to figure out how to balance all of this. Promise.

We better friggin go on a road trip this summer!!! That would be soooooo much fun!!!!

I'm really going to need to start planning this summer soon. Cause June is getting very full. Except I have no clue what the dates are for ANYTHING!

Walls- ATL

Love,

Jessica

Twitterpated

I cannot wait for our conversation today. Why did you have to bring that up? Couldn't you have told me in the morning you wanted to talk?

Anyways my alarm is going to go off in 3 and a half hours and I haven't finished the other half of my english homework.

What's going to make me change the outlook I have on you? Please tell me. Cause I'm dying to hear this. I really truly am.

You're not getting out of this one.

Jessica