Now You're Halfway Out The Door

So I know I drone about this all the time, but you're always there in the back of my mind. With everything I do. I need to find myself a new distraction. See with Willbur we had so much in common and were able to talk openly about everything. But you and I never really talked till Dear Zachary, which is why I wanted that night to happen. You and I were just much closer. I was watching 90210 and one character said something about the cuddling that happens backstage. Well I almost threw up to say the least. I try not to remember it, but last year all I wanted to do was make sure I remembered the amazing time I was having. Parts of it now don't seem so amazing. I hope your not there Thursday. I'm stoked for the audition! I hope I do well... Eek!
So now I have to watch her face light up when you come through the door, and watch as its her you sit with and whisper with. The things you and I used to joke about we both take so seriously now. I don't know what happens. But it kills me. When you're not around I think about you all the time, but when you're here all I think about is punching you in the face, but I don't get the butterflies like I used to. I miss them butterflies. I also noticed something this year I started a habit, playing with my hair. You wouldn't have any idea why would you? I miss last year, last summer, it was good. There were so many times I thought about things, but now I'm glad that it didn't happen, but am I really? If it happened maybe things would be different now. By the way I may think you're being ridiculously getting new glasses and clothes, but you're looking pretty good... (Wow just had another memory I'd forgotten, there's just so many of them, my brain can't handle much more) I'll always remember how it all felt, which sucks, a lot. Oh well maybe I'll stop being an ass, and talk to you... I don't know. I DON"T KNOW! My brain may explode...

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=gP85MzpuzrY

Also I'm applying at the library.
Also I'm going out tomorrow.
Also Frost/Nixon was bluddy brilliant.
Also I miss you a lot, it sickens me.
Also,
Love,
You.