So the bastard who potentially ruined my life is real but I prefer not to share his name.... We will call him Willbur for my sake of not having to refer to him in different ways confusing everyone... So all this shit happened and I kinda believed it and in the moment I think he did too... And then all of a sudden everything got really weird between us and I don't really know why. Now we're barely talking and when we do talk it sounds really forced and I feel like I missed my chance to be with him... I kinda told him I like him and he said I figured, but then he asked me to go to the Lake with him.... And trust me more confusing things have happened such as my friend being the biggest bitch to him and then he tried to be-friend her... Confused as I am??? Good! Unfortunately I have to say that I would honestly do anything to spend time with him. He's influenced everything I do and everywhere I go there are things that remind me of him that give me that fuzzy feeling, sometimes the things make me want to cry while other times I feel like taking a dive off the second floor at our school... And I don't know how to talk about all of this with him and I really want to but I have come to realize that boys are mysterious and try to cause me as much confusion as possible... Part of me wants to tell him all this while the other part is trying to tell me that there is something else out there.... But I'm really doubting the latter... It just seems that he's always been there and will be the only one to understand my craziness but lately it hasn't felt that way....
Anywho going to scrape brain matter off the floor since it like exploded five minutes ago....
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