Remembering 2008

I'm never going to let anyone or anything hold me down. I've been there and done that and want no part of it. It got me nowhere. Now I'm living and surviving and look how far I've made it without anyone holding my hand! So step back and watch me fly! Because you never know but one day I might just defy gravity...

"sometimes when it seems like i work so fucking hard only to win myself a complementary "bang your head against the wall" ticket. i just want to fucking scream. and the best part is that its really no one's fault so that means that, not only do i have no one to blame for the frusteration, i have no one to blame but myself for acting like a complete lunatic. but hey, i guess there's a bright side, the simple fact that i can take a step back, if only for a second, to perpetuate this run on sentence, and see myself for what i am and how stupid i really look with that face on. problem is, its really the only face i have. not to mention my right hand hurts as it is. bones shatter. anyway. back to work. be a big boy. be a man. suck it up. don't let shit bring you down. right? right."

Those things you feel all through yourself, they're real. Those things you're able to forget and live past are not real. I'm leaving, because I need to find something as real as this. As real as what this conjures and brings out of me. I'm not leaving cause I want to move out. I'm leaving because I'll be better there. I'm not going to get better here, anytime soon.

Memories are powerful things and they take you by surprise. So watch out for them, don't drown in the darkness, live in the light.

"You think you're better than me.
But you're nothing at all."

I'm glad I'd have nothing of yours. Because I don't have to waste time burning it or allowing you to pollute the air more than you already have.

Love,
You're nothing at all, and apparently I was never anything to you.
Could my secret be I surround myself with these things because of the rejection real life holds for me? Or maybe I just realized I'm better than what is here...

It's been one of those weeks again, like I used to have. It makes me not want to share anything with you because I have that one person in mind I want to reach out but they won't. I didn't know what to say to explain everything and everything. But someone unfortunately knows this feeling all to well too. I know it, I feel it.

I was able to hug the four people who make my days continue to weeks and continue into months...