You Must Be Happy With Yourself

I really have to pee. Yet for some crazy reason I will not get up and walk to 15 steps to the bathroom. I'm losing my mind. There are times like these. Figure out that song. Where I see my insanity collapsing in on me. In public I will literally begin to act out the scenes I see in my head. That's the messed up thing. Me sitting here. I am not looking at the computer screen. No. I am standing to my left, watching this girl type, with an encrypted expression on her face. Her desk begins to spin so that the audience can see the screen. Her music comes into focus. At first it seems soft. But the brutality of it comes into focus with the volume. This is really how I see life. It is rather unfortunate. Never experiencing something first hand. But experiencing those emotions to store them for later. When they will need to be used. I walk down the street. Feeling out the rhythm in my head, even when headphones aren't attached. Mumbling to myself. Writing out random things here and there. Artistic visions are constructed in many ways. Maybe I will write that script. Get this. The plot. Girl goes to see therapist. But does not want to. Their sessions continue to escalate until... Well that part will come in due time my friends. Scripts are about what's happening to the writer. You can always tell which is the writer. Don't lie to yourself. Judge the book by the cover. It's what actors play off of. Picture this. Old frazzled woman at a glance. At a second glance we see she is young but has aged. She's walking down an upscale street in Europe. She doesn't fit in with the crowd. Every time she passes a jewelers she starts yelling at the window. Then she moves on to the next one. The conclusions we all just drew about this woman is amazing. The way we all saw her in our head. The way we saw the shot move. Did you hear a shot? In real life there was no shot. But I heard it. I was talking about the filming angle. But then my head thought what if she was shot. Then it continued on with her story. What did you see? Or are you just reading? Are you absorbing what you're reading? One is either passive or active. Which are you? But wait, which are you really? You're most likely passive. Until now. While reading this you were thinking about your own thoughts. What you might do with these words. Instead of just reading what I have to say.
Love,
Swollen in Wake Up calls.