OK!

So I'm stoked to leave for California tomorrow morning! It is time to get out of this frozen wasteland it really is! It's going to be a very interesting trip but I just cannot wait to go on a ride (to the level of extreme I feel comfortable with) and feel the wind and scream. And I SCREAM! It's deafening.... But I'm going deaf anyways, so its the rest of you who will have to suffer... I enjoy the fact that I do not have 100% hearing abilities... I blame all those concert speakers I stand beside... But who doesn't like the feeling of your clothes vibrating?!?!? It's all I'm saying...
Anywho so I think I might die without internet access for two weeks. I might actually die. Especially because I'll have no contact with my four-fingered friends. BZZZZZZZ!!!!! (Flies away) I'll be able to text Lyndsay at least.
Also why must Abbostford be so far away, otherwise I'd so move in! So many people looking for roomates! That's right I'm already looking... HAHAHAHA! It's lovely... I can't wait! It'll be fun!!!
So that's all for now. I'm thinking about not being able to spend time with my friends which is quite a bummer, hopefully there will still be time for epic adventures when I return, if not only 9 days later and we'll have all of exam break! Anywho I'm really looking forward to Cali, it'll be nice to dress well again. I hate when it gets cold and I can't look as good. Its true. Me and the gay guys agree, however the gay guys can pull off toques and I totally cannot. It sucks a lot. Me and Jenna talked about that the other day. She's home and so I got to see her last night!!! AHHH!!!! I love that girl so much, she became like my older sister last year. We spent all of our time at Stock together, I spent more time with her than Ian. True story. So her and I watched some tv and just chilled. I miss her so much! Hopefully next year I can write her more letters! That reminds me I need to bring her address with me to Cali so that I can write her a lette/postcard! Ok I really should go now because I'm just rambling on and on about myself. HAHAHAHAHA!

"Have you ever been touched so gently it made you cry?"
Love,
Calling me sugar, you called me sugar.

My Advice

My advice as a future A and R Rep is this. Myles you are a very lovely looking young man. Unfortunatelly you do not understand what comes with singing and performing. It's unfortuante. If I was an A and R Rep I would not sign your band, nor would I give your band a second chance. Myles when you do screamo, you sound like the thing from the swamp, its really strange, because skinny fake emo boys are not threatening in a scary swamp situation but your voice is. The better of your new recordings is Waiting. By far. However, your voice in the first minute is ridiculously off key, it makes my ears want to bleed, near the end you get it, almost. The lyrics are not bad, I will give you that, the music in the background is repitive and catchy, like all other fake emo bands these days. This song would however, not be distinguishable on radio, nor would it grasp the attention of the audience your music would be directed at. Your band is the band that plays Warped Tour at 11:00 am, when no one has shown up yet, and then you wouldn't even walk around promoting the band or hangning out at your non-exsistant merch booth.
I'm really interested in music and I think I want to get involved in the music industry business aspect. Artist and Repretoire is something I can handle, I like it and I know what's going to be popular before it becomes popular, I love it. (Ex. Mayday Parade, We The Kings, Ace Enders and A Million Different People, Boys Like Girls, Hellogoodbye, Simple Plan. Need I say anymore? Dude even Good Charlotte and Social Code.) So if you don't believe my experienced professional opinion please check this link out for yourself, but also check it out anyways because its just soooooooo funny!

http://www.myspace.com/ourlastcrusade

Difference

There's a huge difference between the confidence of your ego and your personal confidence. That's the one thing I learned from Psych this year. I also noticed that since I've talked to Sam about things I feel less weighty. It's a very interesting thing and Psychology has allowed be to begin thinking about these things and making the connections. Unlike Sam when you start to talk about actual important topics she listens and analyzes where other people are like HOLY SHIT FEELINGS *runs for the hills*
Anywho I'm stoked for some hugs tomorrow! YAY STOCK KIDS!
Also slightly nervous about tomorrow, hopefully I don't wake up like I did this morning and have no voice, that would definately be uncool.
Hmmm I should go check for auditions on that website in the mean time chew on this!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE2-zyrSXx4

Love,
Feel like that a lot lately...

I haven't been here in a while...

It's been one of those weeks again, like I used to have. It makes me not want to share anything with you because I have that one person in mind I want to reach out but they won't. I didn't know what to say to explain everything and everything. But someone unfortunately knows this feeling all to well too. I know it, I feel it.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008
parade rain
I'm not going to let you make me crazy. I'm not going to let this make me crazy. I am not crazy. But oh my god lying down in the dark with nobody close, nobody far, nobody period, makes me want to throw up. I'm not used to this. It is a monster and it makes me so afraid of it. I am not afraid of you. I am afraid of without you. This loneliness has reached new levels of reality with me. And I in turn am curdling. And it makes me almost want to hate. Almost want to curse. Almost want to cry. Almost. And the anger wells up in me and it sometimes seems unmanagable. But with all my might I manage. I wish somebody would yell at me. I wish somebody would stop me. I wish somebody would promise me I could be happy. I wish I could believe it when I hear it. I wish I could sleep and not be awake so I didn't have to hear myself think anymore. Because the very thought of doing this all by myself takes my legs out from under me. How am I going to be strong enough to do this without anybody close to understand and love and help. For fuck sakes. Somebody to help.

I am not crazy. I am not going crazy. I am not crazy. I am not going crazy.

The fun has just begun.

When it rains it pours.

I Don't Want To Be The Girl Who Laughs The Loudest

So... Everyone was away on Friday, leaving me to fend for myself. With Ian and his huggy mood. Like don't touch my hair, don't wrap your arms around me, don't lean on me and definately don't make it look like I'm the one coming on to you, for that is definately not the case. I can handle it then as friends but I don't handle it well after the fact. I need a break. I'm so glad we leave in 10 days. Then I'll have 15 days just to breathe and be somewhere I want to be. By then the play stuff will be over, I won't have to see him and Jill, I won't have to stay up worrying about my friends, talking him off the cliff every night. I give so much to so many people but sometimes I don't think they notice that and appreciate it. Like is it all that much to ask for? I don't think so. I'm so glad first semester is almost over. It always brings out the crazy in me. I'm really glad we're almost done the write-up, hopefully we can meet with hologram lady on Wednesday. That would be really good. Also I need sleep and Dexter. I think Dexter's the only sane person I know. Maybe I just need to lie down, feel it all, and see the happy place that reminds me of Shawn. I miss that guy, so much, I wonder if I can find him on Facebook!
The beach, the boat, the sun, the misty spray, your smile. Its all there.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHmrPuCuefs

Love,
All you've ever wanted but realized a lot too late.

Thank You So Much.

I love meeting people because then you can let them know how important they really are and what their music means to you. Thank you for giving millions a voice. Sometimes I just want to jump on stage and hug you. Especially when you're about to cry. It gives it that much. Thank you for your honesty...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PrRZyHaTak

You need to know...

IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO FIND THIS! SO GOOD! I love the smile part the best with Nikko. He better win, I state again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AXZecskzkg

I'd die to dance like this again. I miss it a lot.

You really need to see this!

Just a few links I think you all really need to see.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=46232731

BTW the crazy striped house is so us in Van. I'm stoked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZSpGwnvXjc

UHM did she just make out with herself? DAMN I LOVE PINK! She is such a musical inspiration. Check out all her music. Seriously dudes.

Holy crap is this hot. I'd die to dance with Nikko. He better win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzgPxhg8NUM

This guy is my hero. I want to do this with Elaine to In Th Zone by Brittany and Madonna.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UNYvlRCtYk

I lose it everytime when she's fighting the mirror and he runs over and picks her up. I cry every single time. So beautiful.

This also just needed to be here...
And then I think I'm done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl4WN-aOWDY

THIS MADE ME LAFF SOOOOO HARD!!!!

Ok Our Last Crusade. Be prepared to laugh your self silly. Oh Myles...

About Our Last Crusade
We are a band with a history of great struggle, our story begins in the dark forests of Germany, when a heroic skinny boy Alex Koebel meets a great and honorable scene kid Myles Rivoire, and thus Our Last Crusade came to life. They took it upon themselves to create a band so great it could save the world from the slaughter that is rap music. They took their drums of gold and their diamond microphone and walked day after day until they reached the majestic land that is Spain. In Spain they traveled all of the land searching for the greatest bard in all of Spain, and they found the Nicaraguan stallion that is Jonathon Garcia. After being serenaded in Spain and finding just the guitarist they needed our heroes traveled into the snowy forbidden lands of Siberia. In the farthest reaches of this Siberian wasteland they found two peasants digging tunnels in the middle of a grassy clearing, the ever so groovy bassist Ryan Buckley, and the Egocentric guitar god that is Scott Oliphant. after braving the cold and snow of Siberia they began to create music and travel spreading the word of Our Last Crusade, but fate took both Scott and Ryan from them, for in the middle of the Sahara dessert the two new heroes ran ahead of the group, engaging in horseplay as they usually did but unknowingly stepped into a deep and cold pit of sinking sand, almost immediately they were gone from us, and to our amazement the weight of their bodies displaced the weight of another that was trapped in the sand, the greatest bassist to ever live, and also part lion sex stud Mitchell Nemeth, and then we alll woke up and noticed Myles was spooning Jon.

Oh but just wait it gets better....

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=339997421&albumID=0&imageID=8133291

I told you it got BETTER! HAHHAHAHHAHHHAHAHA!!!! This is so not a punk/emo/hardcore band. I've been there and this just isn't it. Sorry boys. I'll be impressed if you get cubical jobs... Punk/emo/hardcore is not following everything and hanging out with the most untalented person at our school. Also KNOW THE BUSINESS MYLES! Ugh I asked you about it all the time last year to help you. I hope you got my subliminal messages. MYLES TAKE CARE OF YOUR VOCAL CHORDS! Do breathing excercises, learn to breathe properly, know your range and styles and don't learn it from the girl who doesn't know it. I wish I could help you but we're not like that. So have fun father of 2 at 30!

Love,
Experience

Something Special

This summer was definately something special. Fortunately I don't have pictures of all the epic-ness. Hopefully this will suffice.
Click on link.
Move the slider so that the pictures are switching every 4 seconds (otherwise it doesn't work epicly)
Turn your sound on (but not to loud)

Summer is my Almost Lover
http://photoshare.shaw.ca/messages/viewshow/13190741350-1228363179-84277/parm/page/

Comment or email me with thoughts?
Not my song.

Love,
Epic Summer

Mmmmmm

A song I like that makes me want to punch you in the face so I listen to Katy Perry afterwards...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RklgJB5BjHg




Hmm... And what should be my festivity for the day... This is the best movie ever! I suggest everyone see it!!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tcx8iA9dFUg

Signed,
Love Actually

ARE YOU ON A MOBILE?!

This is how it went down folks...

ARE YOU ON A MOBILE?!?
WHAT?!?!
You're on a mobile!
No.....

My teacher is crazy I swear! She always yells at us when we are paying attention!

And then yesterday,

If we do it in small groups I'll get distracted.
Because you're not already?
Shh...

Sometimes there are things more important than The Cursed Play mmtay??????

Ok I'm working on something special fo ya'll.... So I'll see if it will work out. I will find a way though.

Ps. Go Eat A Pomegranite! It's what I'm doing tonight.

Interesting Pants Fantastical Hurlyburly

You only wish you knew. Ever have that feeling you effect everything? Not in an ego way but as in its true that without a single one of ours presence everything would be different.

OMG NEW FOB RECORD THIS MONTH! AH!

Universal is a music whore so it won't let me put their new video here but I can put the link! BAHAHAHA! I know some rockstars who have done/do/will do these things. Also WTF is with the cat. I also found it hilarious when Pete rubbed up against Patrick all of a sudden to sing back up. (52)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbxkW6xsLuo

Oh and since its December I'm officially spreading Chrismukkah cheer, Jessica style!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH-LqVpsC04

Signed,
Captain Oats

IknowitIfeelit

"but its probably more just the altitude. the air is so fucking thin up here it makes you sick faster than it makes you smile.

its the fear that drives us. its that same fear that keeps us on a razors edge.
i will always be deathly afraid of falling. out of trees, out of love, and out of touch."

I thought you had died. Never do that again. Don't ever loose touch or else I will loose my hair. Why do I care so much? That's not a question I simply answer, and I don't think there ever will be the correct answer.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7PUicRnHrA

Forget December

Sigh... It's December already....
This is my kind of Xmas caro.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSKlaHf2PH4

I was kinda antsy all of a sudden. Started listening and started breathing. Its amazing how music does that...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y9nn9k0QtY&feature=related

Every time I hear this I think of the greatest things ever, and the greatest people too. It makes my days...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux971v0BNkA

I LIKE AVACADOS!

Martin = Life
New album is going to be amazing
Sad for Poolie
Get better! I worry about you boys...
Also Martin I will go to Spring Awakening with you in New York, just give me a call! HAHA! I would though. *dies*
Worried about some other boys because they seem to have disappeared off the planet.

So much work.
So much worry.
So little sleep.

Get involved.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzsFEVACJBU&feature=related

Shakes and she looks sexy!

My phone died again. So for the time being I have a pin moto rzr flip. I hate it. Oh well. The guy at Telus was fun and cute... I mean... no.... k who am I kidding? So they'll soon discover how unfixable my phone is and give me a new one. I'm stoked!
Also some dude named Lucas is coming to fix our computer tomorrow. I enjoy the fact that his name is Lucas.
So the fam makes fun of me because I was born a day early, so then the four of us aren't 6 days apart. But I discovered the universes reason for this today in English AP. Thank you Ms. Kim. William Shakespeare was born and died on April 23! AH! It's amazing no? I think SO! I LOVE IT!

Love,
Shakes

(Ps. make sure you notice what changed about me. And yes Luke its a hair cut...)

So I want to get my haircut....

So I really want emo boy hair... I know yucky right? But I could sooooo pull it off, you know I could. However I want like Tegan and Sara hair minus the mullet. I think it'd be awesome. But I'm going to wait to do it until after we graduate because by then it will no longer be the cool thing, and plus new hair = new beginning = fun new friends = fun new place = dancing to discmo with discomers. HAHAHAHAHHAAHHA

I love everyone so far Martin as recommended. Ok So I should be doing my homework but screw off. I also should be working on the song-ness but I'm not....
"Runaway if you don't then they'll catch you." No clue what comes next yet...

Funniest thing I saw today...

However it was unlike yesterday where I was like suffocating and food was coming out of my mouth and Isa was filming me and I had to run away...

Oh just so you understand what this is... Freerice is my home page. I play almost everyday.

English Vocabulary

obsession means:
fixation (Defs not it, he hasn't discovered us or anything like that.)
prediction (We haven't predicted sweater songs or anything....)
large rock (You mean White Rock, actually)
cargo (Floppity flop flop, happy birthday to my... well you get it....)

Also thanks to Martin I understand the new music I am in love with!!!!

"however, do i find myself alone at 5am dancing around my apartment to my new favorite discmo bands? yes. and yes, discmo. disco/emo. now it’s got a name. get involved. but the big question at hand is who is doing discmo best?"

I actually do dance around to techno at absurd hours when I'm alone....

Signed,
Your lovely discmo dancing queen

MARTIN!

WHY WAS THIS NOT ON MARTINSAYS! SO NOT IMPRESSED! ACTUALLY I COULD NEVER BE ANGRY AT THAT BOY HE'S TOO MUCH FUN!Ok NEW BLG MUSIC VIDEO! AH!!!!!!!! These boys are so much fun. I love Poolie, Party Marty, Dan the Douche and Johnny Beef!!!!!!!!! OK SO HERE IT IS! PLEASE FREAK OUT AS MUCH AS I!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mb8ey_DJlMM

I love the video boys. I cannot wait for the new album and tour. There better be a tour. I miss my mocking, smelling lovely, tight pants boys. Also I love that they show the bottom drawer thing with Martin pointing. Classic. And POOLIE WORE HIS GLASSES! He's adorable in them. I'm thinking of getting ones like that BUT i can't pull those kind off. ANYWHO! I'm happy now. I was angry and so I went on to martinsays and myspace and facebook. And I'm good..........

I think...

That this is appropriate for my 100th post! CHEERS TO ME!
*slams back a cold one, wakes up under a luggage cart*
I can't wait for the fun times the future holds, cause you know they'll find me.

But for now, this is for you. And I have to tell you some things on Friday cause what I'm doing and what you're doing is not helping anyone right now.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXQtJQp2foA

I'm Coming Home...

I hear this song all the time. I hear songs all day about how people just want to be home with the people they love. I understand that. I also understand that the people they love allow them to go out and experience dreams. I have my dreams and I have people who support them. However I feel the present situation does not allow such things. Its this place. It holds nothing. I see and I read about people and the things they accomplish and I feel like I need to breakout before I can go after them like Billy The Kid for example. She's a huge inspiration of mine and she's extremely DIY! I'm a city person. I like to dress up, walk with a purpose, go out and meet people. People always asking whether or not they should do something and I always say Why not? What else are you going to do? Go home and watch other people live on Facebook? If there's something you want to do, experience or see do it! It's how you find what you love and people you love.
So yeah I live through bands because its the life I love. It's something I want to do. I don't want to sing in my english AP class and be a self absorbed snob. I'm going to learn everything I can first while having a blast. Which is why I'm leaving. I'm not leaving because I don't like you guys, or because of the way you treat me. I'm leaving so I can grow and become the person I really want to be. If that means going to school, doing what I love and having a job while living in a single room residence with a bed, window, desk and mini fridge I'll gladly take it. So I guess I'm not coming home, but maybe in some twisted way I really am. That's certainly how it feels.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btjhdHX8pMo

http://students.sfu.ca/residences/residence/residences/towers.html

Lover Enshrined

"One thing though," Qhuinn murmured.
"What?"
The voice that came out of his throat was unlike anything he'd ever heard from himself before. "If any guy breaks your heart or treats you like shit, I will bust him apart with my bare hands and leave his broken, bloody body for the sun."
Blay's laughter rumbled around the tiled walls. "Of course you will-"
"I'm dead fucking serious."
Blay's blue eyes shot over his shoulder.
"If there are any who dare to hurt you," Qhuinn growled in the Old Language,"I shall see them staked afore me and shall leave their bodies in ruin.

- J.R. Ward



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgZjeBEvcPw

TINA WANTS YOU!

I saw that poster and died. For a second. Then I laughed and remembered how that boy screwed over the wrong girl.


(This is the link for Anna... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LqJ2Hqt3A4 And Photobucket tells me Jake's album has died...)

"Thank God For My Friends"
Love,
You should've known better.

I'd Gladly Get In A Snuggie with Martin Johnson.

Could my secret be I surround myself with these things because of the rejection real life holds for me? Or maybe I just realized I'm better than what is here...

The Most Amazing Show Of MY LIFE!

OMG THE MOST AMAZING SONG! THE MOST AMAZING BOYS! The funny thing is you can see me in this video. I got this thing with being up close. I'd dance with David any day!

I only know...

Four other guys who harmonize this well. So adorable... Ok I really should go study bio. But this is bio in a way. No?

It's A Big Bad World We're Doing What We Can...

So we all know I love the Plain White T's. First of all I skipped rehearsal for them (shh...), I saw a long time friend after their concert, I loved their music before Radio killed them and Delilah went back to him, I shook Mr. Higginson's hand, I made the bassist Mike feel awkward, and then I walked a difficult road home after the concert. Literally. I had to pee the whole time. And there was lightning and bugs and it was cold. Anywho... "Oh... The fence is gone, no I lied, there it is!"

I borrowed the new CD from the library because the bank does not allow me to go buy one at the present time and I LOVE the pictures inside. First there's this random where they look deep in conversation but look like they're about to start laughing. Then it looks like Tom is leaning on all of them, strange. Then the guys are in convo but Tom's chilling alone. Then they're trying to look all serious but cutie Dave just looks like he saw his parents doing what rabbits do. HAHA! Then it looks like they're talking about Tim's junk while Dave is staring longingly and rather closely at Mike. It's hilarious I love it. And I love the mugshots and the extremely cute lyrics. Come back soon guys!



Not my favourite cover of this song, but entertaining because of his cheat sheet... Couldn't actually find the cover I wanted to post...



Love Always,
Your Very Own Natural Disaster

RIP Dallen Campbell

I did not know you personally,
But I certainly wish you well.
I've had friends go through this,
Which makes me wish I was friends with you.
So many people loved and so many people cared,
Yesterday must have been a day
A day that lost control
Where no one was around.
I'm sorry this had to happen to you
Life's a long gruesome fight.
I do not think less of you,
I don't think you were weak.
You were scared and felt alone
And you did the best you could.
Unfortunately you couldn't have lasted the week.
Maybe if you came to school,
If last night you turned that record loud
And made it to today,
Someone would have said something
To make you look a different way.
What you did was not selfish
And we will all be fine
But in some ways I want to thank you
Maybe now some people will open up there eyes,
Like some friends of mine.

You didn't make anyone angry, you didn't make them sad,
If anything you made them proud,
To say I knew him well.
If you could see the nonsense,
All these people who wish you were their friend,
I have a feeling you'd be doing just fine.
Maybe this wasn't the right answer,
But for many it seems this way,
But maybe you could have been the one to walk away.
You left behind your parents, and a younger brother too,
I try to imagine, but cannot, the pain they're going through.
I hope you see these words and see that somebody like me
Would love to say all of this to you
If you were breathing right infront of me.
There's no way that could happen,
But I really wish it could,
To say to some you meant the world,
Would be misunderstood.
Everybody here is shocked by your short life,
I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to live out all your days and nights.

I'm learning to be at peace...

You gotta help me out
It's all a blur last night
We need a taxi 'cause you're hung-over and I'm broke
I lost my fake Id but you lost the motel key
Spare me your freakin' dirty looks
Now don't play me
You want to cash out and get the hell out of town

CHORUS:
Don't be a baby
Remember what you told me
Shut up and put your money where your mouth is
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas
Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes, now
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas

Why are these lights so bright
Oh, did we get hitched last night, dressed up like Elvis,
And why, why am I wearing your class ring?
Don't call your mother
'Cause now we're partners in crime

CHORUS:
Don't be a baby
Remember what you told me
Shut up and put your money where your mouth is
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas
Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes, now
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas

You got me into this
Information overload, situation lost control
Send out an S.O.S.
And get some cash out
We're gonna tear up the town

Don't be a baby
Remember what you told me (x3)
Told me, you told me, you told me
Shut up and put your money where your mouth is
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas
Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes, now
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas
Shake the glitter, shake, shake, shake the glitter, c'mon!
Give me some cash out baby
Give me some cash out, honey



I'm really glad we never woke up in Vegas together.
"Booze over boys, starbucks over girls" -CL

I think I'm actually alright. It's strange I guess. But I knew it and I let everyone else tell me nay. I guess I wanted them to be right.

I wish I had this much peace though... I'm not there yet...



If I don't look into your eyes anymore and don't relapse I can do this. Hell I am doing this.

The Bi**h is Back!

"You think you're better than me.
But you're nothing at all."

I'm glad I'd have nothing of yours. Because I don't have to waste time burning it or allowing you to pollute the air more than you already have.

Love,
You're nothing at all, and apparently I was never anything to you.

HEH!

HEH! HE SAID HEH! I WANT TO SCREAM! I WANT TO PULL HIS HAIR AND PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!
I take it you're not dating Jill than?
Whats, that supposed to mean?
Exactly what it says.
Heh.
What does that mean.

No reply.

I'm watching Pinky and the Brain.
I love that show!

OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS! YOU RIDICULOUS BOY! AH! GET A CLUE! Whatever I'm taking that heh as a yes. Btw I was asking you to help me decide whether or not to tell you. Whatever. Go spoon with Graham. Get out of my life!

Whatever, I'll always have sweaters and four lettered name and one three lettered name which isn't yours but is totally a four lettered name.

Posted by,
Thank you World for ruining my world.

Why is it always me...

How come when anyone ever says anything inappropriate people either look my way or say my name! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING ILLEGAL! I swear!
"Who we all want to do..." "Jessica" "WHAT? I haven't done anything" "But you're the closest."
then we had...
"Like Jessica when she drank my beer!" "DID NOT!"
Seriously! What is going on here people. So Jill heard that one comment about school and the look on her face perfectly said wait till I tell Ian. UGH! WHATEVER!

They're scared of, his make-up
Tattoos and piercings
They say that, it's too bad
He won't amount to anything

They judge, by the way he looks (Woah)
The cover's not quite like the book
He's just, so misunderstood (Woah, woah woah)

'Cause it's so obvious
There's nothing wrong with us at all
It's our life, we're alright
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes you mighta made
It's so obvious
So just stop, blaming us because
It's not wrong to be young
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes you mighta made
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes

She's 18, so sexy
She's never made love
*Her so-called friends* are saying
She sleeps with everyone

They judge, by the way she looks (woah)
The cover's not quite like the book
She's been, so misunderstood (woah, woah woah)

'Cause it's so obvious
Theres nothing wrong with us at all It's our life, we're alright
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes you mighta made

It's so obvious
So just stop, blaming us because
It's not wrong to be young
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes you mighta made

They judge, by the way we look (woah)
The cover's not quite like the book
We're just, so misunderstood (woah, woah woah)

It's so obvious
Theres nothing wrong with us
It's our life, we're alright
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes you mighta made
It's so obvious
So just stop, blaming us because
It's not wrong to be young
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes you mighta made

(It's so obvious)
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes your mother made
(It's so obvious)
No we're not about to go and make the same mistakes

I actually don't love the way you flirt...

HELP ME UNDERSTAND! UGH! *forehead -> desk*
So I was so set on talking today, but that didn't happen. Let's tell the folks (HAHA Mr. Hebb) at home why, shall we? So we walk into the small gym, true. And Colin and Elaine and I are chatting it up and all of a sudden I feel this hand on my stomach. I see the hand and realize then there's this hold that says I'm testing to see if you're still mine. So I'm like Hellz YA! Then we had this huge ass hug. It felt good. There was spinning involved. So I was like cool totally going to talk later. And what does he do? Go 'sit' with Jill! WTF??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Then him and Jill are being close and she keeps giving me the evil eye and I'm all what is going on here?!?!?! (still have no clue) So whatever. Am I going to try, dunno, should we talk, probably. Then we go and dance together, mess up my hair. Whatever right? Whatever.
Colin: Just incase you didn't know, Ian has hair everywhere!
OMG COLIN YOU MAKE MY NIGHT! Thank you for that! If you would've snuck in a punch to his face during that time I would be having an amazing NIGHT!
So we're still totally lost on that. Also you guys just need this.

Ruel comes over and is being all stock. How this man has perfected it all, leaves me speechless. Ruel looks over at Colin, Ruel: Oh shit he's right there.

5 Minutes later..

Colin: I'm not dating Jessica.
Ruel: You're gay?
Colin: ...
Ruel: Oh, she's fucking sexy
Colin: Jessica, Ruel thinks you're fucking sexy.

I love Stock kids. Especially Aeron, I ejoyed the tendon massage. Also thought it funny that Ian and I were jumping at the same time. Jill stake your place already so it doesn't kill me. Thanks.

Love forever,
sexy

My Bestest Friend In The Universe

In about a year and a half we will all be going our seperate ways. And my bestest friend in the universe won't be beside me anymore to say Gawd was that stupid of you, or, At least he didn't cancel even though he was sick. And do stupid things herself life ignore this boy who is trying so hard to get her attention. Its great.

I love this song.

We were watching...

A Street Car Named Desire today. And I keep seeing this same scene over and over again in my head. Blanche is talking with Stanley and she just breaks. The music in her head starts and the gun shot sounded. And it ruined the rest of her evening. It was so strong.
I have times like that. I remember your fingers or the way you smelt or the way you looked at me and smiled when I was singing in the hall. I remember everything. You want to go to Toronto, you love what I love, you love underground techno, you ran away from home at the age of 4, you like to be proactive, you like downtown at night. Memories are powerful things and they take you by surprise. So watch out for them, don't drown in the darkness, live in the light.

Thank God For My Friends...

You tryto potect your friends. You really do. But you can't protect them from everything especially the things you've personally gone through. Then you feel all awkward and don't know what to say. You never know. Something you may say might hit a nerve, or maybe they want to avoid it. So how do you go about these things the right way? Will we ever know?

PS. Me and Sam are going to be philosphers when we grow up, and I'm going to live in the bush beside her penthouse. She said I could live under the deck in a box. I got excited.

Other things that excite me...



"I'm sleeping with a princess." "But only for the nights we'll never forget"

I'm wishing...

"so today is 11/11. thing is, every night at 11:11 i make a wish. so tonight…with the quad 11 timewarp 60 second mecca of possible luck, there’s a lot of pressure on picking the right wish.

wish with me. pick a good one. let me know how it works out for you."

I can't decide which wish to wish.
To be with you
Or to be away from you.
Maybe I'll wish for the latter and just do the first on my own. I don't need luck for it, I just need to tell you. And it's time to. Meet me in the catacombs on Friday and I'll share with you a secret, a secret I hope we can share...

much to wishing,
(SFU)
PS. Townhouse or Tower?

It was real wasn't it...

Those things you feel all through yourself, they're real. Those things you're able to forget and live past are not real. I'm leaving, because I need to find something as real as this. As real as what this conjures and brings out of me. I'm not leaving cause I want to move out. I'm leaving because I'll be better there. I'm not going to get better here, anytime soon.

"Hey Dave" *insert wrong note* we love it anyways.... We always love the things that are there for us. Especially those things that are there for you at night. We'll never forget these times. We only get them once.

Some girls do smell really good don't they...

The words of Ben Lee.

And some more words from some other people who seem to share the same thoughts as I. You never thought you could relate to a whole two albums, to every single song, even the unreleased ones but somehow you just can.

Not as good as real life. In real life I cry. In real life you get the softest Hi Dave. In real life Dave messes up the last note and you cry some more. In real life you feel it all over you. In real life its not a blurry vision, it's quite clear and no one's head is in your view. In real life you're in love and it hurts.



"sometimes when it seems like i work so fucking hard only to win myself a complementary "bang your head against the wall" ticket. i just want to fucking scream. and the best part is that its really no one's fault so that means that, not only do i have no one to blame for the frusteration, i have no one to blame but myself for acting like a complete lunatic. but hey, i guess there's a bright side, the simple fact that i can take a step back, if only for a second, to perpetuate this run on sentence, and see myself for what i am and how stupid i really look with that face on. problem is, its really the only face i have. not to mention my right hand hurts as it is. bones shatter. anyway. back to work. be a big boy. be a man. suck it up. don't let shit bring you down. right? right."

To Smell The Fresh You Exhuberate

I want to know what he knows
I want to feel what he felt
I want to go where he's been

I want to know what he knows
I want to hear your secrets
I want you and I want him

Cause you smell like apple candy
And you're singing hallelujah
And the edge in your affection broke my skin

But I want to know what he knows
I want to touch what he touched
Call me by his name

Cause I know you made a promise and told him he's your other lover
Make me feel the same

Cause you smell like apple candy and you're singing hallelujah
And I'm feeling so much younger than my years

But I want to know what he knows
I want to go where he's been
I want you and I want him

So you said go find some trouble and you would do the same
Let me open up our hearts and we could change
Well, you smell like apple candy and you're singing hallelujah
And you smell like apple candy
And your're singing hallelujah

I want to know what he knows
I want to feel what he felt
I want to touch what he touched
I want to go where he's been
I want you and I want him

Just listen to the music and not the clips from LOST. That has nothing to do with nothing.

I Know It's A Little Late...

To be watching these. But I found them extremely well done.







Thank you to everyone who could and did vote.

I can't think of who to run to, except to you, in to your arms...

This night has not been a fun night. I can't tell if I feel like puking or crying or both. Things have been volitile around here lately. I'm so glad I'm getting out. It was a good thing he wasn't here tonight or else things would have been worse. So much yelling, so much swearing, so much violence.
At school Mr. Crawford had us look at our child self. And I did not take that well today. Let's just say I threw my book across the cafeteria and yelled some harsh words at it. Then I went on a rant and I could see Sam analyzing me from the other table. I am not confronting my child self and that re-experiencing those things was not debriefed for those of us who did the project and now I have to finish the work on it. I do not wish to confront the things that happened or that are happening right now.
Can't wait to run into the arms of those who love me tomorrow. I love you guys so much. Now I don't have to be around this anymore.

Maybe I do hide behind the smile, but the smile is genuine when I'm with you.

The Sweater Song

Thursday, November 06, 2008
The Sweater Song
she said baby don't leave
be home stay close be close to me
boy dont' be gone
he said baby you know
i gotta run i gotta go
i won't be long, girl i won't be long

she said boy don't you flirt
and baby please just don't get hurt
and if you feel alone then here take my shirt
he said forever girl i know you hate the weather girl
so maybe you should hold onto my sweater girl

she ran picked up the phone
said babe i miss you come back home
it can't be long, boy it can't be long
he said i hate this place
i miss your smile i miss your face
i wrote a song, girl i wrote a song

she said you make me better boy
i just mailed you a letter boy
and oh just so you know i'm still in your sweater boy
he said girl don't be hurt
i've sweat a lot and smell of dirt
and i think i'd feel naked without your shirt

he said you're looking great
i'm home i'm back i couldn't wait
girl way too long, this was way too long
she said get over here
i crave you close i need you near
now play that song, boy play me our song

he said back to forever girl
hope you endured the weather girl
now all i wanna do is get you outta that sweater girl
she said i like the way you flirt
i'm so glad you didn't get hurt
now let me see you naked without that shirt
posted by Jakes at 5:28 PM


*This man makes my life so much brighter, I'm glad he knows that.

To Be Alone With You...

I'm scared. It's the first time in a long time I felt something so raw. Its that fear that just sits at the bottom of your stomach, waiting for that opportune moment when nothing will happen, therefore since nothing will happen I'll beat myself up for it afterwards.
I'm scared to see you. I'm scared of what you think. I'm scared I'll do the wrong thing. I'm scared I won't do anything. I'm scared that something might happen between us. I'm mostly scared that you'll have moved on and be like every other boy who just happens to get a case of amnesia and forgets everything.
Slowly, painfully, I'm trying to release the butterflies in my stomach. They're killig me, making me overthink everything, mainly they're just making me remember things.
That's when the black outs happen.



All I feel is your arms wrapped around me. It's been too long.

So WHAT I'm still a ROCKSTAR!

So folks incase you were not aware it was Anna's birthday last week.... Sometime.... That parts irrelevant, the relevant part is the celebration was on SATURDAY! (But hey it's just another Saturday, oh no it was not Mr. Hoggard)
So we eat, we watch movies, we sneak off, we eat.
Phil comes downstairs, I don't think I've ever seen him before, he was just this guy Anna always referred to as her brother, I was starting to not believe her.
We dance to good songs, I got some of that built up agression out that I had for Ms. Kim it was healthy. (More to come on her story)
Sarah kept falling asleep. We all eventually decide it could be a good idea to claim our crashing places. *Insert Anna and Ash fight* That was a gooder. Best I've seen to date. Then everyone goes to sleep except Anna, Me and Andrea. Btw me and Andrea are the next Tegan and Sara except we're not twin lesbians. So we be talking it up, eventually we lose Andrea. Who ever's idea it was for me and Anna to share a bed must have been crazy. I have no clue how everyone slept through hurricane Jessica and Anna. They were Category 5's, no joke. We started singing, laughing, changing ringtones, recreating the Susan scene, Anna kept trying to suffocate herself under my pillow(that's dedication) and some picture swaping. It was good... Except we have no clue what time we actually got to bed. Last time we had checked the clock it had been 4:30... HAHAHAHA! Good times! HOLY SHIT! Then as soon as we were all ok bedtime... A BALLOON POPPED! Why would a balloon spontaneously POP!?!?!?!! And why did no one wake up!????? IDIOTS! BLUNDERING SLEEPING IDIOTS!
Anywho insert some waffles and so you think you can dance and you get the morning after.
I leave you with Mr. Higginson, the cutest elf I'll ever grope hands with.

Plain White T's - Natural Disaster - Official Music Video (HQ)

Something about today just felt right...

"i do not like shirts with tight collars. it feels too confining. i'm changing. a lot. and its good. and its bad. and its painful. and its dangerous. and its new. and its exciting. and its terrifying. and its liberating. and its life altering. and i will come out the other end with both legs and arms and still breathing. still running. still swinging." - Jakes

It's great really how I can relate to a 24 year old man who still believes he's a juvenile deliquent.

I seemed to talk a lot today to people about the important role we all play in each others lives. A lot of compliments going around, its nice for a change.

I told the Rents my plans for life. Good news I still get to sleep in my bed tonight, bad news my mother is trying to guilt me in to staying. But I'm not letting that get to me. I feel so free and alive right now, it's exhilerating.

Shit... I have an in class essay tomorrow...

I'd write what I feel but....

So there are a bajillion things I want to blog about right now. But I burned my finger tips making a grilled cheese sandwhich today, so I won't...

I can't forget those pale blue eyes.... And the moment they met mine....

"Trust me if I was being selfish I'd duvet you right now"
*Coughjustwaittillstockstarts*
*Punches Jenna in the face*

I AM NOT A FAN GIRL! let me repeat that for those of you hard of hearing. I AM NOT A FAN GIRL! Music is what keeps me alive, its the tapping of my toes and fingers, the bobbing of my head, my dance moves, my breathing, my pulse, it's everything I have. There is no way I could live without music and the experiences it provides me with! Just because I like a band so much I get them something to show that, or I tell them that, or I buy their CDs, Books, or Dvds does not mean I'm going to live outside their house in a bush! I just wanted to make that clear, just incase it wasn' already! Music helps me release all that you build up that makes me want to stab you, unless you know, you'd like to be stabbed. So let me know when you're ready for a good stabbing mmk?



I'm never going to let anyone or anything hold me down. I've been there and done that and want no part of it. It got me nowhere. Now I'm living and surviving and look how far I've made it without anyone holding my hand! So step back and watch me fly! Because you never know but one day I might just defy gravity...

The Dreams We'd Conspire, The Days We Went Crazy, The nights wild and hazy...

Ok so Anna and I are kinda creepy... But you'll get over it because you don't understand and could probably care less.
This is a recap of Anna and I's adventure. Through Anna's POV.

Ah! Woot! *Gasp* Hah Hah Hah Hah... I GOT A HUG FROM DAVE ♥ !!!!
Friday, October 10, 2008 at 8:52pm
So the epciness of all epic stuff occurred today and I had to record it here before it all disappeared from my memory. This is what went down... Here it goes:
Jessica and I discovered the most amazing event ever.... we went out to get our Hedley books and discovered that they were having a BOOK SIGNING! That's right everyone, today before their concert they had a fricken book signing... so in turn Jessica and I were there. Becca came too but (sorry) she doesn't play a very big part in the amazingness...
Basically the signing was from 4:30 to 6:00 and we were there at 2:30... and waited... it didnt seem to last too long especially when they turned on the Hedley music. We travelled all the way to a different Chapters and sat there. There were only like 10 people ahead of us so we were pumped..
TIME: 4:30
Where are they? Where are the boys? Well they call in to declare that they are indeed stuck in stupid Calgary traffic
THE NEXT HALF HOUR
Everyone is on their toes trying to spot the first of Hedley and be the first to report their appearance... and yet out of all the wanna be girls.... I SAW THEM FIRST!!! I DID!!! I DID!!!! WOOOOOOOT!!!
Let's describe the amazingness of this, first off, the boys (sitting in this order):
CHRIS: Greeny-brown hat, hair the typical greasyness and something...
JACOB: Came in with sunglasses and his stupid facial hair... ummm... caught texting while the lady was introducing them and looked really tired looking... poor boys... driving since 5 in the morning...
TOMMY: Red baseball hat (doih) err... facial hair... *Jessica was unhappy*
DAVE: WHO MADE MY LIFE!!!!!!!! His wonderful grey toque and err... as awkward as it is... like turquoise undies HAHAHA, Jessica has finally admitted that I was right when I said he was a cutie...
Now of course Jessica and I would never show up without being super geeky and bringing the guys stuff so...
Here's what we brought them (If you don't understand... u shouldn't care):
CHRIS: Golf balls... that we signed... hehehehe
JACOB: Nutella and KitKat bar as well as the Chuck Norris poster for all of them
TOMMY: Pie... duh and mixed salted nuts!!!! WOOT
DAVE: Fiji water... need I say more?
There as much of this as I can remember:
We walk up to chris...
J: Hi!
C: Hey!
A: *behind Jess*
J: Since we know you like to sign girls chest so much we signed your balls *hands over golf balls*
C: Thanks... Haha you signed my balls!
J: *over to Jakes* Hey *puts down nutella and kitkat bar*
JA: Thanks.
C: Ah, here it is... *laughs*
A: And we also got you these *gets out posters and places on table*
JA: What are these?
J: Chuck Norris posters
C: Those are so going up!
J: *Moving on to Tommy* Hi... we brought you a pie
T: Haha... of course
J: and we brought you nuts because you invited people down to Calgary to eat nuts with you!
D: HAHAHA They brought u nuts!
J: *Moving on to Dave*
T: Hey, you coming to the show tonight?
A: No I wish!
T: WHAT really?
A: I couldn't get tickets *sigh*
Meanwhile...
J: So we brought you Fiji water
D: Aw... thanks *reaches under table* Ironically I have this *pulls out Dasani water* But I'll need this for later
J: Can I have a hug?
D: Sure
*HUG*
A: Hi!
D: Hey
A: Can I have a hug too?
D: Sure..
*HUG* WOOOOT
D: Thanks for coming out!
And they all signed along the way...
... WOW...
It was epic...
They are like face-to-face and like looking right at you...and they talk to you... the facial hair and the fact that Jakes was exhausted kinda sucked but it was still uber epic.
WOW
Oh and Jess... I hope you edit this... since I have a crappy memory and was much to excited to even speak to them (I did a bit at least)


****
Now that all of that has been covered....


So then we went to Dollarama with Becca. That was interesting. My favourite part would most definately me that fact that a shopping cart was driving itself and almost hit a van.
I ditched the crazys but not before ruining the lives of some poor 12 year old boys, thanks to Becca. Then I met Amy and Steph and Kelly-Ann on the train and where did we go? Well the HEDLEY CONCERT OF COURSE!!!! AHHHH!!!!! *runs around, trips, stands up, does epic dave/jessica dance*
So we get there and wait... and wait... I crawl across everyone's lap to get to the bathroom to clean my glasses cause I'm just that cool. Then I realize that the girls sitting beside me are my friends I found standing in line behind us at the book signing! SO TRIPPY!!!!
Ten Second Epic was pretty much only epic for 10 seconds. I really liked their new song Everyday. Then they asked for people to stand up and dance, which I did like a total idiot soooo much fun!!!
Then the crowd thought the Hedley intro song was starting so the crowd started screaming and freaking out and I was like no guys chill this isn't it. And it wasn't. Then it actually started and Jake came out in this intense red leather outfit. HAHAHAHA! So they played the fast songs from their first album then they all ran off. *insert elevaor music* (no lie) then they came out and played acoustic. Then the guys just left Jake on stage and he sang Landslide and I started crying. So Amy looks over at me and goes "Aw he's still the Jake who loves to sing". So naturally I'm now bawling... Then they ran off and Tommy and Dave had their solo's, soooo talented!!!! Then Jake came back and ripped to posters down and sang the new songs! AWESOME! Then Chris got his drum solo! DAMN IS HE TALENTED! Then Dave tried to get us to sing while Jake was changing and so I started screaming trying to help Dave out. Then it was all Super Hedley with Hand Grenade. Jake kept trying to fly and he fell once and rolled across the stage. I love it. You could totally tell he got to do his yoga before the show cause he kept doing it on stage. So then he really did leave... But they came back to play the piano and sing Never Too Late. Oh and somewhere in there he started taking his shirt off so I yelled, " Jacob no! you're singing is fine there is no need to take your clothes off" Apparently he didn't hear me... Oh and then before Landslide he was like this is for the people who keep me grounded so I yelled, "Aw Jake I love Tammy too!" Amy was not impressed... Insert the end of concert.
Well since its the boys they hung out after the show! And we got a good place in line and then I snuck my like 15 friends who were also there into the line. It was funny. And Mr. Sexy Pants was not sexy. I just want to clear that up for anyone who was confused... KELLY-ANN!!!!!!! *shakes head* Do not hit on the merch guys, it gets you no where... Trust me on that one! So I see Chris and I get the haven't I seen you before look. So he signed my CD and ticket and I got a hug (he actually stood up to give me one) and I told him how amazing the show was. Then it was Tommy, I told him he was amazing tonight and that its the best show I've seen by them so far. He was all good to hear. Then he didn't even ask, he just pointed... How pathetic.... It tingled though.... TEHEHEHEHHEHEH!!!!Then Jake was next he was being kinda ADD! He like tossed my stuff over the Dave (I wasn't impressed) and when I asked him for a hug he pondered the thought but eventually gave in. TEHE! His hug was pretty lame though. Not gonna lie, the cheek brushing back in April was much more fun. So I get to Dave (or EVAD!) and I was like show was amazing yadeyada... And then I ask him for a hug so he stands up and gives me a hug and says give me some loving. Only he could get away with that! Then when Kelly Ann was talking with Jake she asked him to sing her Happy Birthday and he said you don't pay my enough for that. So not a Jake answer. Wonder whats up with him? *is concerned* They said that they're done touring now for a while and are going to put out the next album.... I'm quite excited for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In The City of Where Ever I am....

So Anna and I, try to be cultured and fail. First I'm all dammit we got off at the wrong stop and totally missed the Art Walk, and totally don't notice the huge, bright red, revolving sign infront of me! WOOT! So we walk past a few galleries feeling completely out of place. Go figure. So we leave for Eau Claire.
At Eau Claire we wait in line patiently for Anna to buy tickets. In the mean time I find free Bunny Post It Notes! AH! I also notice all the people in line behind us have table cloths on and black framed artsy glasses. It was great.
The ADD continues at the candy store where we induldge in Gummy's. A LOT of Gummys... We make friends with the guy at Subway.
The adventure continues outside, while we try to find the theater, and I somehow get completely soaked AGAIN! We wait in line for the movie to start. The movie starts and we totally have no clue what its about because we're so not artsy. So my mother interpretted it afterwards once I told her all about it. People kept commenting on our candy, cause they were clearly jealous. We also tried about 3 different seats before actually deciding on one. Then they made us leave out the back door cause there was a red carpet going on. (boo) Me and Anna make it home with 'Tommy' and the limped awkward turtle, Hector.
PS: I almost forgot, as soon as we got off the train this crazy guy came up to us and was like would you like my coffe, its free? And I was like grabs Anna and runs away.
That is all. I am now done rambling about advenrture 14.0 or whatever this one was...

As Is

So..... Ok my last post h a lot of anger behind it, but I slept, ate a grilled cheese sandwhich and realizedtere was noneedo be anrry. I had a lot of fun last night and unfortunately everything Amy had to say was right. I love her because she's so down to earth.
I'm excited for Anna and I's adventure tomorrow, its gonna be great. Ice Cream (potetially), Candy store, Fido Box Office, art walk, film. It'll be great.
And Yes downtown is pretty at night, especially with you. ;P
Also I really don't want to babysit for you anytime soon, because I'm still pissed from last time. So stop callin me, cause I'm not answering anytime soon!
Thats all.

Summer....

Thanks for the summer and the broken heart, bitch. I'll keep it all in mind. So thanks for putting it in perspective. Btw here's a little message for you, I'm not with Colin what so ever, I'm single, and you just really screwed up. That's all. Stupid boy on he bus, almost punched him.... Stupid smell. STUPIDSTUPID!

They judge by the way she looks....

Oh Faber, how I love you so, and your uh Pants..... Anywho.....Faber Drive is coming and they're playing the Cave so I can't go. Silly bars..... Maybe I can see if Stacy has any hook ups into that....
So tomorrow... Huh.... Kinda freaking out, because my brain is like that. Silly brain......
Made brownies. Miss Jenna. I really miss that girl, I'm glad she's doing so well at Queen's though.
Oh so what I'm really here for is to tell you about hot emo boy, who rides the bus with me. Well not really with me, but we wait at the same stop in the morning. And today Keegan introduced us and we startd talking. Good times. Fell into rocker dude and he smelt fruity which made me laugh.... But back to hot emo boy, so this teeny bopper, pushed past us to get to his friends at the back of the bus, and he goes, "Are you fu**ing kidding me? You're getting off in two stops. You're fu**ing idiot." Which was prtty much the exact words I was thinking. SO all in all this kid is great and I love him.
Saw Myles the other day. What a talented kid, wish he knew that though. One day I just want to go up to him and help him out with his singing and help him realize he should sing acoustic emo, and screamo but not whatever that new stupid song is. And teach him how to care for his vocal chords when he does screamo.
Oh and Geordie and Paul make me happy.
And Lyndsay makes me happy. She's quite swell really........ Because we have interestin tall rocker times together, in english.... What a stupid class.... English is such a joke, along with psych! So idiotic. Anywho. I leave you with this amazing artist.

She relapses.....

You are a silly baboon because I worry about you all the time and I just want you to succeed and I don't know how to help you all the time and it worries me that I'm your best hope.
Why must people only converse around one subject. I've been hanging out with different people this week and have actually been able to hold intellectual conversations with them. It's great. Kurt actually made me see things in a whole new perspective today and I quite enjoyed that perspective. I feel like I made the right choiced today for once. Then I started thinking, about how its been two years, and I miss you a lot. I wish you could see how well I've been doing. I know you'd be proud of me.
Anywho, if you haven't seen me for the past week you won't know how uber excited I am for Friday!!!!!! I miss you lots and can't wait to see you! I can't wait to see what happens....

I promised....

I told Andrea I'd blog about Kurt. So on Monday me and Andrea are sitting eating lunc and along comes Kut. And Andrea starts up a conversationw ith him. And we'e sitting on the ground and he's standing. And all of a sudden spit just flies out of him mouth and lands on Andrea's pants! So FUNNY! anywho that's all.
FRIDAY with TINA! OMFG!

Recent Life

So school started. Bore.
They screwed up my schedule of course so I can't take Spanish. Sigh... But in other words I get a spare! HOORAY!
We booked our vacation for Christmas! Score!
I'm going to Simple Plan with Metro Station, Cute Is What We Aim For and Faber Drive! I'm so stoked, its not even funny! I can't wait another 23 hours....
I'm going to see Hedley! AGAIN! AH! I love them boys. Oh and for Psychology class I'm doing a study on Jacob Hoggard, it'll be swell.
We're also going to Seattle to see Spring Awakening. I cannot friggin wait for that! AH!!!!!!!! Spring Awakening is pretty much the Rent of this era.
Also I laugh at Ian becuse he's like everything will get better once Stock starts, and I'm like dur cause that's definately not what I think about every waking and sleeping moment!
Ugh and then the whole English AP fiasco. I think it should stay AP, and those kids who don't want it should go into 20-1 because that is not fair to the rest of us if she compromises AP and makes it easier, that's not what AP is about! UGH AND THEN THAT REMARK REALLY GOT ME! Vicki goes, well if you wanted AP you should go to Scarlet. First of all how rude. And then after that when I joined the debate going on and stated I was staying, she decided she was staying too. I almost punched her where it counts. So ridiculous. I thought of walking out. No lie. But a few people made my day A LOT better. I love those people, a lot. Sorry I don't say it enough.
Also I'm working on my letter to Jenna, it's pretty nifty if I do say myself.
And yes I sound very spoiled at the moment. I'm aware of this fact mother.
Anywho cheers to blackouts!
PCE YO!
Kidding of course.
I'll leave you with,
Miss you, can't wait till October and you know I would but I can't.

Life returns and it hits hard...

Ugh the return of life, let's try and ignore it a bit longer shall we?
So I've started enjoying babysitting Jayda and Noah, they're really ood kid and very self sufficient unlike my brother who's 10 and they're under the age of 7. It's great! *barf*
I went to Chinook today and it was disgusting, I feel like I've been living on another planet all this time. Spending time at rehearsal, shows and downtown is much different then 'rich' suburbia. *Note the air qoutes. I miss all the down to earth people and now I return to the poser ambrecrombie humping idiots. I hate it a lot. Tomorrow is school regestration, sigh..... I definately do not want to go. Oh well I'm telling myself Centennial has to be the thorn in my life, or else everything will be roses which is clearly what life is not about.

"Close up on Roger, his girlfriend April left him a note saying we've got AIDS. Before slitting her wrists in the bathroom."

I'm so stoked for RENT! I'm glad I'm going back, it's my rose.

The Louder The Weaker...

Nothing seemsloud enouh for me these days. Things need to be loude, and they won't go louder. Songs on't touch e the ameway they ued to, I usd to freak over the guitar solo in Love Stoned by Justn Timberlake because t was so good, now 'e got nothing. No sweate, or blanket is wrm enough. No ice crem is cold enough. No movie maes me want to get ou of m seat and cheer anymore. Everything seems to have lost its sparkle, maybe its because I'm going back to school, it's how it always is at chool. You retrea ba into that nervus allflower, and then you catchyour suroundings again and you find your niche and it works and you fit. This year I really want to work on expanding on what I can do in my niche. School seems neverending and this year I had the great obstacle of seeing people go through the fear at what happens after highschool and I saw a lot of people excel at the oppurtunity. Oh and I'm going to see Hedley again and my keeyboard had a meltdown and some of the eys are sticking and pop ups keep popping up everytime I open a new window, I'm so frustrated. The only thing that has gone through my wall recently is what I leave you with...

I miss all the little things...

I had a very calm day today, and I rally enjoyed it, I haven't felt like this in a really long time. I woke up and Becca was here and last night we talked a lot which felt really good, because me and her never have moments like that. Then I cleaned the house a little bit, watered the plants, took a shower, had a fruit smoothie for breakfast. I decided the only thing that could make htis better would be to enjoy the day. So since it was just nice outside and not extremely hot, I sat in the backyard enjoying the cool breeze, my book and the music. Then I got lost in the music and travelled too deep into the happy place and now it just hurts. It's a good hurt though. It's a "Hey jessica you're alive" hurt.

Oh reply back from matt, made me laugh, he didn't seem to angry about it, especially since its not my ault which I explained to him. It's good.

I'm very calm right now and I like it, but it just hurts.

This is all you need to know...

Tell me now your words never meant me harm.. says:
its taken me a few days
Tell me now your words never meant me harm.. says:
but this is the conclusion i have come to
Elaine. says:
yes
Elaine. says:
here's my theory
Tell me now your words never meant me harm.. says:
uhoh
Tell me now your words never meant me harm.. says:
hahahha
Elaine. says:
so god, moses and allah were all partyin' it up, smokin' some weed and banging some hoes, and then god's all like, "HEY GUYS, YOU KNOW THAT FAGTRON 4000 ELAINE? GUESS WHAT I DID TO HER... LOLOLOLOL I KNOW WASN'T THAT AWESOME?" and Allah was like "OH YEAH WELL I BOMBED OVER 9000 OF YOUR FAGGOTASS CHRISTIANS, I BET I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT TO SOMEONE'S LIFE" and moses was like "lol *pops cap*" and God was like "FUCK YOU, JUST TO PROVE I CAN RUIN LIVES, I'M GONNA DO THE SAME SHIT TO THAT JESSICA CHICK. IT'S LIKE, BAM. DOUBLE HEADSHOT. HAHAHAHAHAHA" and then they all did shots
Elaine. says:
because that's totally what relgious figures do in their spare time
Tell me now your words never meant me harm.. says:
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

It may sound offensive but Elaine said it, not eye.

GALA!

So we get all dressed up and sexy and then go to the Martha Cohen Theater and get our pictures taken and get little snacks and then we dance till like 12:30. Then our ride to Kyle's was quite the adventure. Elaine was screaming, I was laughing and singing RENT at the same time, I clearly gots skillz.... So we get there, and only Alumni have shown up so ar, eventually everyone files in, but knowing me I have to get all edgy waiting for him to come through the door, because I'm clearly a tard. So my mommy brings us pizza and non-alcoholic drinks that I think Joel was the only one to appreciate them, Keifer probably did too.
So the night is pretty uneventful till i discover Drunk Shea which could be the greatest thing ever. A drunk gay guy is absolutely amazing. All he did was giggle and say you and point. At one point after I had tackled him so he wouldn't go outside and smoke, so he falls down ontop of me, resting in my lap at which point in time Keifer wlaks over to talk to Hayden and Shea wants to highfive him. So they highfive and then me and Keifer high five for boobs, because thats what me and Keifer do, and She then announces that he doesn't like boobs! HAHAHAHAHA! good times. Anywho I eventually get him downstairs after many interesting things like him stealing Sparky's beer and the bathroom incident and the taking away of his phone, and he passes out on the cement downstairs wrapped around a pole, so I bring him a pillow. End of story, the next day me and him are best buds.
Hassan is also very funny, however it was strange cause he woke up and was back to normal. Leah is a lightweight and is a very loving drunk until she finds out your sober. So after the long night we all watchd the sunrise, and it was very peaceful, I liked it. Then we all walked to Starbucks and learned that you should only ever make legal money.
However, somewhere during the early morning I got extremely angry at Josh and started freaking out on him, and then there was the tugging on my shirt. And then I was in my peaceful, comfortable, happy place while the fingers drummed away rythmically calming me. I was really good there, till he left. Sigh... Stupid happy place, stupid Jessica.
Oh so then we had to do clean up that same morning. So after we unloaded the first truck we all loaded up on sugar at Seven Eleven and ate Big Chief Beef Jerky to keep us alive. It was good. And I'm missing everyone so much. i can't believe I ever thought about not doing Stock this year coming up.

Me being an idiot! DUR!

Ok so we all know by now that I like Ian. Ok get over it. And if Ian hasn't figured it out yet, he really is a true man. HAHHAHAA, I just called Ian a man, what a joke. Ok I shouldn't be mean to him on my blog not cool.
So during our dress rehearsals one day Ian had got all dressed up as Roger and he was being Roger and pushing me down the hall, but I think there was more than Roger in there. And then I was like Ok now's a good time and who but Jill should bounce her way into our moment. grrr....
Then after that I was all wants to see Ian before I leave, so I'm looking around and don't see him so I gives up and leaves, and who but Ian is wlaking down the hall towards me. So we stop and hug and then talk about something irrelevant, all I remember is that we were standing really close. So I started twirling his curl right on his forehead cause its so adorable and he was staring at me strangely with his really blue eyes and I rememebr thinking about moving closer to him....yeah... and thats when Simone comes down the hall and is like oh good Jessica I need to talk to you. I'm glad really that my blog has turned into my thoughts abotu this boy. I really just have no where else to put them. Oh well wait till you hear how baad I screwed this up on gala...hehehehehe...

HOLY COW!

I have not blogged in a long time, prepare yourself for numerous blogs to catch you all up on my most fantastic life, except for the fact that there's a few important people misisng in it right now, but we'll get to that later.
I saw Spamalot tonight. It was alright... The choreography wasn't very good and the microphones were not loud enough and I could easily see all the people working backstage. However, it was the funniest shit ever. Well not ever, because that is Shea. But I will get to Shea later....
I didn't blog about PLAIN WHITE TEE'S!!!! I saw them in concert and I was right in the front, it was fantastic. The lead singer is such an elf, he's the ugliest thing ever, but really cute in a super nerd way. I love him. I shook his hand!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As well before that Social Code played and they were fantastic and as hot as ever!!!! Me and Anna had quite the epic adventure back to my place. Then we watched Fear Factor re-runs till 4 in the morning while I got Piiza Pop filling all over myself.... sigh....

Stupid Boys, Stupid Cute Jessica

Elaine says:
also
Elaine says:
you like him
Elaine says:
get over it
Elaine says:
don't make my mistakes. have ballz

First of all Jenna you're a bitch, why must you have said that you stupid ho, i love you never leave me. We're sitting listening to Ian's speech and he's like this is the best year of stock, and I love everyone here. And Jenna goes yeah he especially loves Jessica. In my ear. And I was like BITCH!
And before Jenna brought it up a few days ago, I had thought about it, not going to lie, because me and Ian have gotten really close, like Jessica and Colin close but on a different level. Does that make sense? I'm not sure. But anyways so we were in vocal rehearsal and me and Ian are being, being. And then he leaves to go sing his song and Jenna's all so I predict that if you stay in Stock next year you and Ian will be dating. And it made sense. And I just must say this, if I really tried and had ballz (as Elaine put it) it could happen tomorrow honestly. And not like stuff, but as in we could be the next rumour to be true at Stock. I love stock it's like a mini highschool with people who all love you.
But boys are stupid so here is where the long story comes in, but it is no story folks, it is real life!
So me and Ian are being buds and then I said something along the lines that was like yeah thats why when we hug, I look this way, so I don't have to look at you. And I didn't mean it but I think he thinks I meant it. So then he walks away and with his back to me he's all yeah I know you don't like me. Which I'm pretty sure is not the case. HAHAHAHAH (nervous laughter). So then we like don't talk and everything's awkward, tis very strange. Then comes today where we have a little small talk, then there are awkward stares during the whole day. Then we get to Cast Appreciation and I keep looking back because he's sitting behind me and I try to do it nonconspiculously (inside joke with him), but I'm pretty sure I failed at that.
So then we're stacking chairs so I go towards the pile he's heading towards (because I'm a sneaky ho, but not really cause I have no ballz)So i start making this scene because Jenna's there, so I go on about how much I hate her and he's like er, what's going on? So then I continue on with the little scene I am creating and then I walk away and he has perfected the sneaky body bump which forces you into a hug. I swear to god he is the master at it. I try to walk away but of course I'm a horrid actor and start smiling like the hugest dork known to mankind, so we hug and I compliment on him speech and all of a sudded we're cool again.
So I like him but I'm not sure if he likes me, because I always thought he liked Jill, but then that idea kinda changed after that day I was sick and he took care of me when we barely knew each other and then a few days ago when he was all you have to come to after gala with me. I don't think he realized his words. Anywho, so I like him, and I enjoy catching him staring at me. HAHAHHAHA... That is all. Now I will go giggle girly-ish-ly to myself....

Jacob understands... It's all I got...

Saturday, June 28, 2008
I'm Flyer, I'm Higher.
So please don't shoot me down. Hate is such a weak emotion. Anger is such a motivating emotion. Try not to let your hate motivate. And don't let your anger instigate, but let it insight change. thats the good weed. the right blood to bleed. i heard you were looking for me. you can't find this. you couldn't handle it if you found it. so don't find it. i found it. the right way. the better way. a brighter day. i'd better say that nothing is over. this is not over. nothing is over. i'll always learn more than you. because i fuck up more than you. yes the element is hot. even on the third time trying.

love,
- the hard way
posted by Jakes at 8:11 AM

I'm lost...

I'm so lost that I need to take a very long time to find myself again. I thought I had grasped who I was supposed to be, but maybe who I'm supposed to be isn't what I really want to be. I'm so lost I can barely tell which direction my foot will land and where that step astray will lead me. All I know is that after this journey I'll really know who is really going to walk every strange step along the way with me. So far I definately have a few in mind who will stay.
This is for you, and for those who I love,
A,A and C



(Goes back to listening to SR-71)

Eyes pt2....

So much to my confusion over why there is no Fred Jones Pt.1 but a part 2, there really are two parts to these posts... I had named it eyes in the first place, because Tommy was making eyes at me.... Oh boy.... By the way watched Metal: A Headbangers Journey today and really enjoyed the segment about groupies, which is defined as a girl who hangs out with a group. HAHAHAHA! best movie ever. Oh and I give you eyes back Tommy...

Eyes....

So I been to the Stampede....
First we have Seventh Rain, which is the most amazing band ever, because Rich and Lucas are the most amazing people ever! And Ryan you are such a tease and a flirt, and it is only for that reason that all girls love you, not because of you're ridiculously pretty face. However, my faith lies in Lucas, I'm sorry, no I'm not....
We see Becca and Maxine... Dammit.... Steph threatens to hit Becca with a shoe which makes my life... I ignore Becca, we fight later, but I really don't care because she doesn't really care...
Oo before the concert I have perogies and more fun Ukrainian food which like made my life...
I freak out because Faber Drive is next and I love Faber. I think about doing a rain dance in hopes it doesn't rain because no one likes a wet faber trust me... Amy: Know how they got their name? Me: no.... Amy: The bassist went FABER ... DRIVE! (it's brilliant really)
So Faber comes out after I like show everyone in the crowd the picture with me and Faber and of course the one with me, Amy and Jakes...... *Fyi Jake you should marry me.... Just thought I'd put that out there.....
Faber's amazing and I thoroughly enjoy myself...
Oh and then we get on the train and there's these two heavier older gentlemen eating mini doughnuts, and this homeless man gets on the train and goes hey my friends always share those with me. And the one gentlemen tries to be all sneaky and hide the bag behind his thigh.... soooooo funny..... Some guy yells at us for being sneaky and stealing his seat....
HEDLEY! We wait in line and see Dave walking around backstage.... (Dave likes lovin') I push through the crowd and get us two people to the fence. Rides Again plays and sucks monkey eggs, so I distract myself by watching Chris eat a pita looking thing and Jugo juice, he was so adorable there on the side of the stage just enjoying his dinner, no one noticing him but me. I smile, he smiles. He leaves, and I get extremely bored so I make friends with this random kid in the moshpit who gets all happy because he befriended three gr.11 girls.... Which made me laugh, because really... I'm not that amazing.... Then I see Jakes backstage and Tommy as well...
Show starts and its the most amazing thing ever, and I can't rock out and dance because I'm sooooo squished. Ten minutes before the show starts it starts raining buckets, the three of us stick it out, all to fall victim to being sick the next day... Girls throw bras, Tommy, the manwhore, is all like yeah bras!!!!! But Jake is all eww bras.... I enjoy those boys, they make me laugh.... He comes out in western wear with no shirt....mmmm..... Comes out and plays a piano that is not red *is very disappointed* They say come hang with us at Cowboys later *Tommy's Fav* and I'm all boo, is angry is not old enough...
So I'm sopping wet so what do I do.... I run in the rain, dancing about, being a bafoon, farther into the Stampede grounds to buy food while everyone likes runs to leave the grounds.... I have a fun convo with the girl selling mini doughnuts... Then I go to Lemon Heaven, hoping to get lemonade but instead i got lemons.... me and anna are so giddy, that we get extremely amused by how the boy makes our drinks.... First ice, then a whole lemon, then he pours in water, puts on the lid, shakes them and then he stabs his knife into the top two times to make a hole for the straws... Me and Anna get very scared when he starts stabbing things.... I feel extremely sorry for him, because I have frightened another boy much similar to water boy, as you may recall from last years stampede.... I do...hhahahahahahahaa..... *snickers* OMG is now reminded of meeting Social Code, whom I love dearly and cannot wait to see on Sunday. Better be a good show Travis.... (I know it is extremely sad that I can call all the guys in the bands I like by name without hesitating) So where was I... Oh yes lemonade... Then we leave and there are like all these ambulances...
OMFG I almost forgot the most important part of the night... I'm all Myles loves Jakes as much as I do, Myles will be there.... And who do I see crowd surfing??? MYLES!!!!!!! How do I know its him... Well first, no one ever forgets Myles, second no one else wears such a bright blue t-shirt and third the poser white handkerchief around his neck.
Ok so we leave, this drunk girl alomost falls infront of the train... Then I sit in the train sopping wet, shivering while all the dry chinese tourists in rain coats and senior citizens in raincoats snicker in my direction... That is the end of my brilliant stampede story.... So far..... dun dun dun...