The House - My New Home

Elaine I love you. There is no denying it. You are such an actor. It's amazing. YAY starving artists! The downtown train was closed today. Oh well. Shuttle buses are just as fun... We go to The House and holy cow was coffee boy cute!!!!! I didn't know what to get and he was like I really like Chai Latte's and I was like yeah ok. Then he kept talking to me about my drink and about ginger bread cookies. Elaine and I are going there for my birthday for open mic night. Yay religious hot kids, that walk around Kensington shirtless!!!! Also YAY WHITE SUPREMACISTS! HAHAHAHA! I wish I was cool enough to smoke weed, and do ridiculous skateboard tricks all day and just dance to coffee shop music. Crave was closed. We almost cried. I want to buy that $425 jacket. It was soooo nice. The Rocket was sweet. They had epic shoelaces but none I wanted. We just ignored American Apparel. Then we went into HOT WAX (maybe it was WAK. As soon as I stepped in their I peed myself. It was a record store! OH MY SHIT! And the guy was in the alley smoking weed. He like ran in making it look like he was working but I wa afraid I was going to smell like weed. Then we went downstairs. That's when I almost cried...





Random Japanese food for dinner! RAWR! Sushi was disgusting.... *pukes* OMG IT"S REALL GREen TEA! MY LIFe IS COMPLETE! Then we were almost attacked my the homeless... Several times actually. We made it safely to The Erotic Anguish of Don Juan. Watching shit like that makes me feel untalented and uncreative. The pen15 was amazing and all the legs and the sliding houses. "I WISH TO BE A GREAT OF LOVER AS JESUS!" "EVERYONE RUSH THE STAGE! KILL SATAN! WE"LL HAVE ON BIG ORGY! ... DOESN"T ANYONE WANT TO HAVE ONE BIG ORGY?!?!?!" "TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF! EVERYONE!" So amazing.... GAH!!!!! Then Satan's helpers loved each other. And the doggy style was hilarious (literally) and then the aren't you proud of me mom faces just stole the show. Then Baracca was open for some god forsaken reason. That cafe has such random hours.... So we had Chai Mocca's. I've never had so much Chai in my life. I'll let you know if there are any side effects. So far so good. Except the shaking....

Also my birthday at The House for open mic night. The less people who show up the better.

Me and Elaine then discussed how horrible our lives will turn out. Especially when Colin and I have children, there will be no hope then. Also Elaine understands my dating totem pole system. our goals in life are to find hot artistic men to hold hands with while walking through Kensington. There were soooo many there today. It was heaven. I felt safer there then I did at Somerset. That's epic. Elaine's going to Vic. "No beverages in the theater unless they're alcoholic." LAME!
OH GAWD STOCK! OH GAWD THE MEMORIES! THIS IS WHERE IAN HUMPED YOU! AH MY LIFE! THIS IS WHERE JIM PIGED OUT ON THE FREe FOOD! THESE ARE THE DOORS TO PILLAR HALLWAY! AH MY LIFE! Apparently Stock is failing epicly at the moment. That brings joy to my life.

Love,
You So Much Elaine and Hot Coffee Guy and Your Hot Friend in the Blue Plaid Shirt.



Ps. Can we talk about how well I'm doing in life? No... Ok let the pity party continue... Also just because Colin got cupcakes mean nothing. And NO colin and I are NOT having children. HAHAHAHAHHA!